Monday, April 25, 2011

My World Has Come Crashing Down



This is a very difficult post but one I unfortunately need to make. I’m not posting this looking for comments, condolences or sympathy. This is just something that I need to say and to let everyone know where I've been lately.

On Monday morning, April 18, 2011, my whole world came crashing down. Lyn Ballough, the woman I have loved and lived with for almost nine years died.

Lyn was first diagnosed with diabetes when she was nine years old. For the past several years she had been what some would call a “brittle” diabetic. We had a great deal of difficulty keeping Lyn’s blood sugar levels up to what would be considered “normal” and she suffered very frequent episodes of severe hypoglycemia.

The doctors considered Lyn to be in generally good health except for the diabetes. However, the diabetes finally took its toll on her body.

Monday morning, I checked on Lyn since she was usually very low in the mornings and needed help in the form of sugar to get out of bed. Lyn was again very low but things were not normal and I called 911 and performed CPR on Lyn until the paramedics arrived.

The paramedics then took over CPR and did everything else they possibly could do to get Lyn’s heart started again. They worked on Lyn for almost forty-five minutes but finally pronounced her dead at 10:37am.

Taking care of Lyn for the past nine years has taken up most of my days. To tell the truth, taking care of Lyn was more than a full-time job. Now, my days are empty and meaningless.  Quite honestly, I’m lost. I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m going to do. Absolutely nothing seems worth while right now.

I guess I’ll eventually be able to figure things out and find some kind of direction but for now I just can’t. The pain of losing Lyn is just too much. I loved her dearly.